"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." - Proverbs 13:12
We're all people in waiting. We wait for the promises to come. We wait for breakthrough. We believe and wait for change. We wait for the full revelation of God. We wait for Christ to come back.
2008 has been the toughest year for me yet. I have been faced with every fear, insecurity, demon, weakness, strength that I have ever known in my life this year. This year has been interesting, it could be marked into two zones, before the NUS "The Happening" Camp and after. Many of the impactful things that happened, and things I'm gonna write about, happened after. Here are some things to be grateful for and some observations;
- Many foundational plans were set into motion this year, and in my mind I know how it would end, at times God shows me vision and dreams. The desire is strong but patience and time is needed to see fruition. Certain things only time can cure and unveil. The plans for NUS, people's lives, extent of CityCare, personal wants and desires. Its hard to wait, and I learnt that time is the greatest test of character and strength. Anyone can bash through a wall, no matter how thick. It takes a certain type of people to constantly watch for the right time to move. Both Joseph and Serene gave me this verse, thanks guys, it helped me alot.
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." - James 1:2-4
- We shouldn't ask "God, why me?" The root of this statement is blame towards God, reflecting a lack of trust. We should be asking, "God, what do you want me to do?" We should count it all joy when we are made to wait with a vision and desire. Too many people messed up by rushing things. I have only heard of people getting into trouble by moving too fast, rarely moving too slow. Takes things easy. Ai Zai.
- It's perfectly normal to want to be alone to collect oneself. Many time, especially guys, think that have to be strong (or perceived to be) and push down their emotions. When Jesus heard about the be-heading of John, He took a moment away from his disciples and the people to mourn and cry. When Jeremiah was confronted by Jezebel, he took time alone in the mountains. It is healthy to our soul, mental and emotional health to have times of isolation. Just don't stay there forever. Collect and move on.
- We have to understand that we serve a wounded Savior. It is through the wounds that the full revelation and love of God is revealed, that God is reconciled to His people, because He understands our pain and got out of it. When we were young, we were faced with right or wrong decisions. But as we grow older and wiser, it is facades of grey; all seems to be great and right! It's what is the right, good and perfect will of God that we need to be careful in choosing. Faced with all the good, which is the best? Prayer and fasting equals to waiting.
- All things are possible with God. God hardly works alone. Most of the time he works with people. Therefore; all things are possible with godly and loving people. I never really had friends, true friends. You know what I mean. After "The Happening" camp, i got touched by people who genuinely cared and crazy enough to ask me out for supper in the wee hours of the morning. Thanks to Changhan who is truly a brother, my long lost twin Quanhan, my essay buddy JingXuan, Geraldine and Berri, my sister in crime Liwei, Diwei, Yuantai, Joseph that injected spontaneity in my life, pats Serene, Jaydee, Joyce Seek, Amanda Faith, Myrna, Cecilia Koh See Su Um ah!!!, Yun Rui, and my fellow leaders, Shan Shan, Angeline and Lichuan, Marc, Sutiean, Annie, Veron; thanks to Johnson and your advice, Simon Peter and your encouragement, Joshua Ming Koon for the brotherly love, Dwayne for the Avengers, Chew yan for the Chewing, Sheryl for giving me the best shock in 2008 ...and many many many more.... At the end of the day, when everything dies down, friendship is what that matters. Friendship and relationship is what we bring up to heaven. Fight for it with your life.
- It brings security and peace to know someone knows you in and out. Besides my parents, there's Veron who could look at me and say "I know what you're thinking and feeling..." Amazing. Obviously you have been praying a lot for me. Thank you so much and please continue praying for me. It makes me a better man.
- God restores beyond what we can think and imagine. Many people don't know that I struggled a lot with the NUS ministry. I was Meridian JC first school IC and failed miserably, didn't do anything significant. Told myself better not lead any thing beside CG. When the vision for NUS came, first words out of my mouth was, "Great idea God, now who is going to do it?" Special thanks to all the people in NUS-CHC, especially the faculty i/cs and Bro Darren for believing in me.
- Passion and love is when you're faced with a circumstance, and you drop all pretense and social expectations. You become your true self, all gittery, nervous and in awe. After it, you will think back and wonder, why was I nervous. Remember the first time your teacher ask you to stand infront of the class; first time you won in a game, first time you received a present? The time your efforts paid off? Never lose that feeling, that passion. It is the core of life, the joy of living.
Something in me tells me 2009 is just going to be great. My emotions seems to be pegged to the economy, its currently in a recession after all the challenges of 2008. 2008 is monumental and it set the stage for many things in my life, which would take years ahead to resolve. I'm believing for great things, that all things will work out for the good for those who love God.
Looking at the staging of the world, a new American president, China finally opening up, ASEAN strengthening, and the world economy at a new point of dynamics, I can only say, "God, lets go on an adventure. 2009, whatever happens, whatever is thrown at me, I'm standing by You no matter what. Come what may."
And all of God's people say....
It cost S$27.95, more expensive than normal CDs in town. But its the same Jewel Kilcher with her husky voice, beautiful looks (hey, it's a bonus to like the looks of your favourite singer), and classy poetic lyrical. Hearing it through for the first time, its a CD totally in the country western style. The lyrics are more straight forward and relaxed, as compared to her previous CD, "Goodbye Alice in Wonderland," and centers around love songs, romance and introspective thoughts. Jewel has not laxed in her tune-to-lyrics dynamics and maintains an edge, in my opinion, rare in today's secular pop/country singers. "Perfectly Clear" alludes back, in its style and personality, to Jewel's first album, "Pieces of you." I'm totally bias, and I would rate this album 4 and a half stars out of five. Not for everyone and the casual listeners I would agree, sounding unattractive largely. But to a fan, this is a breathe of fresh air and comfort knowing that Jewel has kept to her roots as a roaming, experiential, guitar toting country singer at heart.
