Isolation.

I like being alone. Being alone helps me to think, allows me to see events and happenings clearer and it gives me a sense of peace and calm. 

In this exam period, after Asia Conference, I have been meeting friends and going out less. Felt that I have reverted to the introverted person I was a few years ago. In between studying, been slotting in things I like to do; spending time alone in a big bookshop; taking long walks, thinking, talking to myself, praying; eating alone. 

I understand, its easiest to get lost in between the crowd. You feel no one is watching you, no one is thinking who you are, but once in a while, you stop in the midst of all the busyness and you look around, observing, what everyone is doing, where everyone is going to. 

Keeping absolutely quiet in one's soul, in the middle of all the sounds and noise; in that region, you pick up things, learn things, realise things. You're open, and not distracted, focused yet peaceful, your mind floats while your feet is grounded. 

You close your eyes, and images comes into your mind. Pure feelings and events flood your heart. Like a non-linear movie flashing through your mind. You pick up some and try to piece them together; some comes together, some don't. Some makes perfect sense and possibility, some just doesn't. Names, faces comes into your mind, one by one, accompanied by a picture, a scene. Sometimes I know what to do, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I act, sometimes its clear I have to wait. Somethings its so clear, sometimes its murky. 

This keeps me sane. Thank God.