Zzzz

Sleep and rest is the most sought after commodity. It has a unitary demand curve with an increasing affixed value. It is the only commodity that exist in Ultimate Trade Surplus, being entirely exported but none can be imported, with no future investment value. It is more volatile than oil and scare goods.  

Provoked to bag by Jingxuan!

I shall not be called "Uncle!" 

After seeing her reply on my tag board, went out to buy a shoe bag...

So here we go. New shoes with a new bag to travel in. Shoes were happy about this. They tapped away in joy...yes they did. 

On the topic of bags, Sister bought me a bag from Australia. Greatness! Really like it because it look only looks good, but is practical and pockets are at the right place. Morever, it fits my files and laptop to a T! Practicality is the way to go. 

Realised I don't like shopping for my own things, but don't mind and love shopping for others. Most of the things I have are given or blessed by people.

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." - Luke 6:38 

  

An old love revisted

Wanted to have some "me-time" and visited the National Museum. NUS students have complimentary entry to all state museums and that's just great! I would always remember that my dad use to bring my sister and myself to the museum at least once or twice a year. It was really good memories and I treasured those times. I use to visit it once a year during Chinese New year but stopped since 2001. 

This was the first time I have been back since they renovated... 

The familiar front porch of Colonial/European design...

 
But the inside is a totally different place! Its a pseudo "Harry Potter" experience, where you seem to have entered a different place just by going through a door. It was exceptional use of space and it seems mind-boggling how they could have fit such wide spaces into the old constrains of the Colonial construction. 

The Singapore Stone, the earliest writings found in Singapore! 

Portrait of Frank Swettenham.

Old British flag and the fall of Singapore. 

Swinging Chandeliers along the bridge and pathway. 

Looks like a horror story. Its a room where you can sit down and view old photographs on the table. 

The famous spiral staircase everyone knows about, but can never climb! 

The is the link or bridge between the 2 buildings, called the glass passage. We use to walk across this passage to go to the Art galleries. Amazing architecture, to incorporate a sun-roof. Brings the whole place into a brand new light. (no pun intended)

Old Wayang Props.

The Glass Rotunda and spiral staircase that leads you into the History of Singapore exhibits. 

The underside of the old Rotunda. 

Roof-top view of the landscape with the old Rotunda. 

Have you been to the National Museum of Singapore yet? You should, its a beautiful place! Going back brought back memories and many surprises! Never did I imagine the new Museum to look this good! The architecture and space brings about little discoveries if you would care to look. Interactive installations and it just pure fun and discovery! 

Should bring my scouts and encourage friends to the museum soon....

“We are similar to a museum. My function is to present old masterpieces in modern frames.” 

- Rudolf Bing (Austrian Opera Administrator, 1902-1997)

A thousand miles...

If there are anything that makes me immediately smile and chirpy, it would be warm socks, new underwear and good shoes.

Had to retire and say goodbye to a couple of good friends.

Brown Timberland was my walking shoes. Had it since 2002, and have been with me to many countries and places. Sewed it up 2 times, most comfortable and useful shoes I ever had. Blue Brooks were my running shoes since 2003. Did many NAFA and IPPTs with it. Its sole pieces were falling off bit by bit since a month ago. Been good memories, but had to let them go. 

Got me some new soles...

Meet new Brown Timberland Spitsbergen Oxford Taupe Oiled Full Grain and Adidas Breeze. 

Lets go on more adventures...

"Creativity often consists of merely turning up what is already there. Did you know that right and left shoes were thought up only a little more than a century ago?” -  Bernice Fitz-Gibbon 

My Favourite Singer - Jewel Kilcher

Some people had asked, who's my favorite singer. I kinda grew up listening to Jewel. 1996, while in Primary 6, I picked up her first album, "Pieces of you" at Tower Records at Scotts Rd. 13 years, 6 albums, 1 poetry book, 1 live concert and a DVD later, she still gives me a smile and calming effect every time I hear her music. Her style and depth of lyrics have changed greatly in maturity. (contrast the "everyday" live pub feel of "Pieces of you", with the studio chic of "0304" with the ranch warmth and deep inferences of "Goodbye Alice in Wonderland". *Psst*...Plus she's such a babe!)

In every season of my life, her music speaks to me, as if its the soundtrack to my life. Her new album is out in the US, "Perfectly Clear", but haven't seen it in stores here.

So check her out! Read her lyrics. Embrace her mood and heart in her music.

Presenting in my opinion, the best, Alaskan Folk trained Singer in today's pop/country scene, seen best in Live performances, my personal favourite...

Jewel.

Truth

Tough times. Extreme pressures. Testing faith. Stretching ability. Not enough time. Over piling work. Overwhelming feelings. Failure. Tripping. Unbelief. Jolting. Shaking. Tearing. Headache. Heart-ache. Torn-in-the-flesh. Insurmountable circumstances. Valleys. Enemies like a flood.  

I love these times! Renew our minds. God will only put us through situations we can handle. It's all a test, training. He loves us so much to construct such situations to show us "with God, all things are possible."

What is the reality? 

With God and His grace; We are invincible. We cannot die. Nothing in the universe can command our death. We are highly loved and protected in everything and everywhere that we go. Instruction, favor, provision, grace, strength, boldness, faith, love, hope, truth, power is constantly flowing to us, through us. Everything that we need has already been given on the Cross. So its not God, He has done everything that needs to be done. Its us.

If we die, we can only die in Christ. When we fall, we can only fall in Christ. When we fail, we fail into Jesus' arms. Everything that we go through, is first screened through His perfect love. 

Because we are Jesus' people! 

Believe it. Your life depends on it.  

When facing tough times, always know the truth;

"God is watching, the devil is fighting, and breakthrough is coming." 

Lets Raise the Standard! 

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death is working in us, but life in you. - 2 Cor 4: 7-12 

Lack of Vitamin *B*log.

Hey Dudes and Duchesses,

Haven't been on the regular train with blogging lately because 2 of my friends came to visit me for the week. First it was "Readings" that came on Sunday, then "Essays" came to join the party. They brought their distant cousin, "Presentation" this time round. Thankfully, all of them are leaving tomorrow at about 2 in the afternoon. They are a hard group to entertain. Don't tell them I said this. 

Today went with Dad to walk about 3 plus km, and did static exercise -> 100 push-ups, 100 dips, 50 sit ups and 100 over-head "Buddha" claps. Sense of achievement. Need to be constant. Alternating my exercise regime. Monday gym, Tuesday rest, Wednesday static, Thursday rest, Friday Gym/Static. 

Came home and saw 2 guys high on drugs along my stairway. Went into "police" mode and got rid of them. Guy kept saying "Life is horrible. Like is tough." Poor chap. 

Some random thoughts;

1) I guess it will be OK not to attend the module called "Human Rights" stating you're tired and have your rights? 

2) Prof Singh said, "In terrorism, the person you kill is not the target. The people witnessing the act or the people knowing it after is. A directed kill is an assassination. Terrorism strive on the notion of randomness, senseless violence to bring across a message." 

Praying at the beach...

One day my boss walked out of his office and said, "Howard, stop working. Lets go and pray." I was in my tie and business attire, obviously shocked. Not a word, packed up, got into his car and there we were at east coast beach. 

Walking along he said, "Go find a corner. Now is 2 o'clock, see you at 5." 3 hours. Never prayed 3 hours before. I was really noisy in approaching God, speaking in tougues and all. I sense a weird sleepiness come upon me, and I sat down and backed up. I kept backing up until my back was on a tree trunk, and I slept. 

Woke up exactly 15 mins later and the atmosphere was different. Opening my eyes, there was something different, like a cloud around me. And I said, "Hi God...," and God spoke to me about so many things, visions for ministry and school, for life and people...

Pst Phil says it best...

  

"2 years" Forward!

When PST Alex Abraham was in service sharing and when he prophesied the transfer and impartation, the time of 2 years kept standing out in my mind.

These 2 years will be significant; within these 2 years, we will get our land in the Marketplace, we will be positioned for greater breakthrough and revival; the time will act as a springboard for greater things ahead, and I believe more of our spirituality will manifest in the natural, in terms of land space, buildings, territories, influence, authority, wealth, social landscape, social impact, social transformation...

Hence, we got to gear ourselves and get ready for the impending revival; prepare our lives so that we can play a larger part in it!

2 years, these are what I personally hope to achieve by then;

In 2 years time, I hope to;

a) Lead 2 Cell Groups. One Young Adult and one Youth Cell group.

b) Be able to pray at least 2 hours a day. One hour in the morning, and 1 at night.

c) Be financially strong, earning at least S$2500 a month.

d) Bulk up and maintain minimal weight at 60kg.

e) Have a long term relationship with at least 2 committees to actively change society.

f) Have a good education.


What am I doing about it now?;

a1: My CG in 2 years time will inevitable be a Young Adult CG. Have planned persona; vision for every member and working with them to achieve their maximum potential. Targeting the young, such as those in Secondary schools as priority to form the next generation.

b1: I pray one hour a day, either in the morning or night. Now I need to take double the effort and cover both. Will try to pray "one time day one time night" once a week from today onwards to built up the habit.

c1: I currently have a job now as a Financial Consultant although I'm still an undergrad. Working on my presentation skills and currently building rapport and expanding my clientele. This part is tough, because it is hard to balance and properly segment time to balance both work and study. At this point, I like this job, but I always wanted to work as a diplomat under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Will share more about this next time...

d1: Doubling my meal and protein intake since Sunday. Going to gym at least once a week. Mr. Lau Quanhan was nice to follow and teach me how he works out yesterday. Was super good. Why? Cause I can feel my upper body, back and arms ache all over now as I type. Going keep physically fit...revival is going to be busy busy....

e1: Working with NUS-CHC group and CityCare now. Helping to establish a brand new CityCare society in NUS. Hope these 2 groups will have sustainability and effectiveness.

f1: In 2 years time, I would either have just graduated or am pursuing my honours year. I wanna graduate with at least a Bachelors Degree with Merit. Some of my friends have really inspired me to try to go for honours. Need to study hard and up my CAP from this sem...from today!

Onwards!

“The only conquests which are permanent and leave no regrets are our conquests over ourselves.” -Napoleon Bonaparte (French General, Politician and Emperor (1804-14).

Chris Tomlin - Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)

Lets have the weekend in one post!

Saturday was Mama day. Woke up early, spend the morning helping her to do her order chits (in Mandarin! Always have a headache doing it because my Mandarin ain't good. Mother does Funeral Services, if you didn't know...) After, went to her room to talk and she felt like going to Parkway Parade. Met Auntie there with her boyfriend and spent the longest time shopping (test my long-suffering...) While walking, mama suddenly said, "Eh, wanna go Ikea or not?" I almost flipped! Cause my legs hurt, didn't felt like being out so long, but then out of nowhere I replied, "Ok loh, I follow you," and auntie nodded. Realised Mama can be quite random, wanting Ikea suddenly. Walked till 9 plus then went home. Pray and sleep.

Sunday was great! Pastor Tan preached such a good message! He's my favourite teacher. Really spoke to me to have greater faith not only in God, but in myself. After svc spoke to my CG. Wanna be real, totally myself, open and honest to them. Anointing flows through relationships. Build it. Have great visions and dreams for everyone of my members. Longing to see them rise up and serve God at a higher level and capacity! (If you're my member: "I believe in you!") After which met the people from various CGs to give make-up CG at Angeline's place. Preached about "How to "possess" your future". It is really encouraging when after the CG, the people come and talk to you about the sermon, how God spoke to them and SMS you questions. Humbled and glad that the Word of God and make-up Cg ministered to the people. After went to VivoCity to return Angeline house key (Thanks for allowing me to use your house sister!) but she was watching a movie! Spend time alone at Pageone bookshop. Loved it! Then met the NUS people plus Debra for Starbucks and dinner and came home. 

2 days alone at home, God been speaking to me about relationships and friendships. Angeline said this as a joke but it stuck to my heart (in paraphrase); At the end of the day, it is relationships that stays and is most important. Whatever we do, whatever happens, we should strife to keep the friendships we have committed to and value, strong. People don't understand what we go through inside, and we cannot expect them to know. So don't expect friends to be understanding all the time! People are imperfect, and most of all, people are their own person! People do what they need to do, we do what we need to do; but it is people that tries to understand, help and try to make what they do cross what we do that are Friends!  

To young people like myself: Sometimes our parents need to be our friends. They are older and more set in their ways. We are younger and more flexible to change. Part of honoring is suiting our parents needs and way of doing things. My dad doesn't know how to sweet talk and many times the things he says sounds like he is wanting to fight. Younger I get into a lot of arguments over his tone! (how silly!) He doesn't give presents and rarely initiates things. Last few years I pray for God to put filters in my ears, to hear his good intentions and not his harsh tone. I make it a point to go out or at least spend time with him and not to argue. Our relationship has got much much better. My mom is another story, but that is for another blog post... They need us as much as we need them. 

At this point I would like to thank 2 very special group of people; 

Firstly the NUS people! 

  Thanks for rallying behind the vision! When I received the vision, I had a lot of doubts in my heart. Not in the vision but in myself. In 2 weeks we became such close friends! Only God could have done that. Your hard work everyday gives me faith to press on, to believe for greater things and truly, for the largest revival ever experienced in NUS! Your friendship and presence and joy gives me faith and makes NUS a brighter, better place to study in! 

Next, my beloved CG E435! 

I'm still a relatively new cell group leader and have lots to learn. Thanks for rallying behind me, and serving God together with me. Thanks for the Awesome Teacher's Day gifts! I was really surprised! You guys were so organised in signing the book! It really encourages me and spurs me on to serve you guys even better! So blessed to be your leader! 

Finally; if you can, could you pray for me in these aspects?; 

1) I feel a great burden these days for the members and NUS-NTU people. Yes, we have successes and the people are all united and excited. The devil cannot attack the vision, but it can attack people. People has been sharing with me their struggles and spiritual attacks. Can we pray that our people are protected and minds to be set on Christ no matter what? 

2) Lately I have been feeling this tightness across my chest. Maybe its stress or lack of rest. Breathless at times also. Going to be discipline over my exercise regime, need more stamina and capacity...not soon; now.

Friends are friends forever, when the Lord is the Lord of them... 

  

Time alone...with God...

I'm now sitting alone in my room, with a singular table lamp turned on to my right, facing my monitor with Hillsong's "This is our God" at volume 9 on my mini hi-fi to my left. The whole house is dark and quiet...just the way I like it...

My Sister...yes, that's my adorable sister on the right, has headed back to Australia for her MBA graduation ceremony with Dad in tow and Boyfriend and friends  graduating together!~                

CONGRATULATIONS SISTER! (Spoil market..first to get MBA! LOL!)

Off they go to enjoy themselves in Perth. Glad that Dad went. Hardly gets to travel to any western countries. He deserves a holiday. 

9 days. Alone at home. Gonna live like its a bachelor's pad. Rare opportunity; I plan to move out all my things from my room so as to re-organise my living space; take the solitude to pray and re-organise my personal life; take the peace and quiet to sit alone in my big chair to think about life and be grateful for all that I have; maybe try to cook some meals; have personal encounters with God, waiting on Him until He visits me...who's there to stop or disturb me? Have overnight prayer meetings with my friends; mini-hifi, neglected guitar pal, soft-toy cow and pillow....

Its gonna be a little lonely at nights...but I think good experience. Time to clear what I need to do at home since I'm alone.

And one of these things is blogging. I have decided to blog more regularly (being inspired by my friends and encouraged (or pushed!) by my members to blog more about my personal life and thoughts... its just that I'm a stark perfectionist in my writing that blogging takes a lot out of me and I have a lot in my mind to blog about. Should learn how to relax...

So come by often, will blog minimally once a day. 

Call me if I don't! 

Howard Kuay

has a CG to grow, people to love, school to change and a life to live.

"How to be your best when you feel your worst"

A friend of mine recommended that I get the book "How to be Your Best when you Feel Your Worst" by Pastor Casey Treat, saying that it would really speak to me. I have read about 1.5 chapters and here are little excerpts and paraphrases from the book; 

"There are times and seasons in every person's life that are challenging and difficult...We all experience "stuff." "Stuff happens"...

The devil is relentless and bad things to happen to good people, "Just about the time you get your bills paid, you have a teenager who goes crazy on you. Just about the same time your family is flowing together and everyone is doing pretty well, you get fired from your job. Just about the time you get your company going or you get your job where you want it to be, someone gets into a car accident...It's one thing after another! We tend to ask God questions such as, "Why did You let this happen? What are You trying to say? Why me, God?" 

The problem with such questions is that we "actually blaming God, accusing Him of evil! But God is for us, not against us"; 

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" Rom 8:31-32

Key Principle: God is not in control

God is all powerful, King over all the earth, yet God did not cause a tsunami to kill 250,000 guitless people, the massive spread of the AIDS virus. We are tempted every day yet God has no part to play in temptation! 

"God certainly use everything that happens, but He doesn't necessarily cause it." Therefore all of us has dangerous mindfields to walk through in this lifetime to become better people! 

Whether it is because of our own fault or circumstantial; when problems arise, "God uses everything at His disposal, both the good and the bad, to help us and to encourage us and to cause us to grow...God loves us so much, He can use even those negatives things for our ultimate good, "And we know that in all things God works for the good to those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" - Romans 8:28 NIV

I'm glad I got this book, and if the first chapter and a half is this good, I can't wait to finish this book up! 

I guess in retrospect, when we're young, bad things consume and cripple us. We need faith to overcome and rise up again. It is when we're more mature and have responsibilities on our shoulders that despite having crippling bad things happen, we still have to stand strong and do what we have to do. That takes immense FAITH! Things don't happen in isolation anymore; we can have breakthroughs in one area of our lives, yet a nagging pain in another. 

I never could understand phrases such as the "violence of life", "ravages of spirits", "silent screams", until recently. Its like how most of the Psalms by David were written when he was alone in his cave, alone under the quiet star-light of the sky...we make the most amazing decisions and feel the most tumultuous when we're alone on our beds, staring in the ceiling, rocking ourselves to sleep...wondering of the possibilities..pondering...

Faith. Above all, God is with us, always for us; everything we need on this earth has already been given to us on the cross. What more can we ask? It is us that needs to be moulded. Do we, lying on our beds in turmoil, decide to hide and run in our hearts, or do we cry out to God even if we don't hear Him? I like David...

 17 Though the fig tree does not bud 
       and there are no grapes on the vines, 
       though the olive crop fails 
       and the fields produce no food, 
       though there are no sheep in the pen 
       and no cattle in the stalls,

 18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, 
       I will be joyful in God my Savior.

 19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength; 
       he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, 
       he enables me to go on the heights. 
       For the director of music. On my stringed instruments. - Habakkuk 3:17-19

An ode to my friends...you understand...

 

Asia Conference Bus!

Walking out of my home 2 days ago, this was what I saw. I stopped at my tracks, and I had to take pictures. (For the uninitiated, I have a mini-bus interchange just under where i life. Services only one bus, Bus no. 64)

Bus 64 starts at Sims Drive, goes to Queensway, and back through Little India. Rather extensive, much like a heritage bus tour if you ask me. 

But hey! Didn't know we had an Asia Conference bus didn't you!? Neither did I! 

How cool is this???

Wishing you special people...

I'm eternally grateful to all my teachers! Where would I be if not for you. Everything I do, I say, I think, I'm reminded of someone that taught me to do so, or not to do so.

Teacher's are there not just for the good things we do, but they correct when we make mistakes. A teacher is therefore special because whether we are good children, or naughty children, they are always there encouraging, believing that we can be better people.

Thanks to Pst Kong, who made a 15 year old boy have faith to go to ACS(i) to preach his first sermon; Pst Yock Kiang who inspired me at a young age to love people when I see him moving in and out of KFC talking to members; To Veron, who inspired and empowered me to be a CGL from my first Cell Group meeting; Ms Lee Lili, thanks for bringing me to Jesus; to Ms Lim, who gave me confidence when you asked the worse student in the class to run errands for you; to Mrs Sim, thanks for inviting me to my first church camp; thanks to Mdm Jac Yew, who told me I needed to be a man; thanks to Ms Hazlinda, who believed I could stand infront of crowds to debate and write great essays; thanks to Ms Ernie, the first person who believed I could do public speaking; thanks to Mr Norman Chua, for giving me tough love, I know it wasn't easy; thanks to Ms Tay Mui Keng, who pushed a C6 science student over the edge to an A2; thanks to Mr. Ragan, you taught and made history in my life; thanks to Albert Toh, who first taught me about business; thanks to Nicholas Goh, who taught me how to do business; and thanks to my Cell Group E435, who taught me how to love.

Lastly I wanna mention my teachers whom I don't know your names or remember your faces; the auntie who sells newspaper everyday, the road sweeper that dresses up and smiles, the Aljunied MRT staff that showed me what it means to save lifes....and many many more. Thank you very much!

I am who I am because of all of you.

"And the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also." - 2 Tim 2:2

Thanks for believing in me...